Build Me a Son

“Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.

“Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee - and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.

“Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.

“Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.

“And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the weakness of true strength.

“Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, ‘I have not lived in vain.’” —General Douglas MacArthur, a prayer for his son

5 Behaviors Guaranteed to Increase Happiness: #3 of 5

“View yourself as actively capable of making changes in your life, rather than as a passive, helpless victim. Make use of your own agency. Take responsibility for being the architect of much of your own misery, and choose to build success instead.” —Dr. Stephen Marmer; December 9, 2022; The Dennis Prager Show

Tragedy and Regret

We ought not conflate the pain of tragedy with the suffering of regret. Pain is inevitable; suffering is gratuitous. Tragedy is the painful experience of acknowledging an unfortunate reality. Regret is the experience of acknowledging an unrealized opportunity that could have led to avoiding an unfortunate reality.  —Steven R. Hobbs

To Be a Therapist

“A therapist must find a way to follow the rules of his clinical profession and also be a therapist, and at times the two are incompatible. Similarly, to be both human and a professional expert is a difficult task for some therapists. Because the situations a therapist encounters are so various, he needs a wide range of behavior. Sometimes he must take charge; at other times he must be helpless so that others will take charge. He must be serious but at times introduce humor; he must be flirtatious at one moment and distant at another. One of the therapist’s tasks is to be intensely involved in a situation at one moment and to sit on the periphery of it in the next. Sometimes the therapist must be repetitive, insisting over and over on the same behavior; at other times he must be changeable and not offer the same directive twice.” --Jay Haley in Leaving Home: the Therapy of Disturbed Young People, pg. 281

Addicts Are

“Addicts are those who use compulsive, obsessive, and destructive behavior to escape pain. This expresses itself in two ways: those overwhelmed because they have been exposed to excessive pain and cannot cope healthfully, and those overwhelmed because they have been sheltered from sufficient pain and cannot cope healthfully.” —Steven R. Hobbs