To Be a Therapist

“A therapist must find a way to follow the rules of his clinical profession and also be a therapist, and at times the two are incompatible. Similarly, to be both human and a professional expert is a difficult task for some therapists. Because the situations a therapist encounters are so various, he needs a wide range of behavior. Sometimes he must take charge; at other times he must be helpless so that others will take charge. He must be serious but at times introduce humor; he must be flirtatious at one moment and distant at another. One of the therapist’s tasks is to be intensely involved in a situation at one moment and to sit on the periphery of it in the next. Sometimes the therapist must be repetitive, insisting over and over on the same behavior; at other times he must be changeable and not offer the same directive twice.” --Jay Haley in Leaving Home: the Therapy of Disturbed Young People, pg. 281

Difficult Families

“With difficult families, the therapist must be predictable enough to be relied on by the family, but not so predictable that he can be easily anticipated, thus he can bring about change. One must be predictable in one’s commitment to solving the family problem but unpredictable and inconsistent in moment-to-moment maneuvers.” --Jay Haley in Leaving Home: the Therapy of Disturbed Young People, pg. 276

Addicts Are

“Addicts are those who use compulsive, obsessive, and destructive behavior to escape pain. This expresses itself in two ways: those overwhelmed because they have been exposed to excessive pain and cannot cope healthfully, and those overwhelmed because they have been sheltered from sufficient pain and cannot cope healthfully.” —Steven R. Hobbs