5 Behaviors Guaranteed to Increase Happiness: #3 of 5

“View yourself as actively capable of making changes in your life, rather than as a passive, helpless victim. Make use of your own agency. Take responsibility for being the architect of much of your own misery, and choose to build success instead.” —Dr. Stephen Marmer; December 9, 2022; The Dennis Prager Show

To Be a Therapist

“A therapist must find a way to follow the rules of his clinical profession and also be a therapist, and at times the two are incompatible. Similarly, to be both human and a professional expert is a difficult task for some therapists. Because the situations a therapist encounters are so various, he needs a wide range of behavior. Sometimes he must take charge; at other times he must be helpless so that others will take charge. He must be serious but at times introduce humor; he must be flirtatious at one moment and distant at another. One of the therapist’s tasks is to be intensely involved in a situation at one moment and to sit on the periphery of it in the next. Sometimes the therapist must be repetitive, insisting over and over on the same behavior; at other times he must be changeable and not offer the same directive twice.” --Jay Haley in Leaving Home: the Therapy of Disturbed Young People, pg. 281

Difficult Families

“With difficult families, the therapist must be predictable enough to be relied on by the family, but not so predictable that he can be easily anticipated, thus he can bring about change. One must be predictable in one’s commitment to solving the family problem but unpredictable and inconsistent in moment-to-moment maneuvers.” --Jay Haley in Leaving Home: the Therapy of Disturbed Young People, pg. 276

Struggle and Progress

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress….This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and those will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress.” —Frederick Douglass, speech at Canandaigua, New York, 1857